The Great Pea War

Hey.... This is Selah. 

Shhhh.....I'm sneaking onto Mom's computer tonight because I've just GOT to VENT! 

My mom is really MEAN! You won't believe this, but tonight she tried to feed me yucky green balls with mushy centers! They were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO disgusting! I promptly spit them out after the first one exploded in my mouth, and then I cried because I was STARVING and these were NOT going to cut it! You would think I would have received some sympathy, but NO!

First, Mommy just talked to me about these little green balls, saying they were called "peas" and that they were yummy...  I could not be convinced. Has she even tried them???? Then Mommy mixed them with some little yellow things she called corn, but they were tasteless and not much better than the peas.

Well, I thought Mom had gotten the message after I whined for awhile and mushed all the peas on my tray cuz then she went to the cupboard and got some yummy pumpkin! I was so excited!!! BUT..... then she MIXED THE PEAS AND CORN with the pumpkin trying to fool me and completely ruined it! Can you believe it????

That.was.the.last.straw. War officially was declared!!!

 

I stared at Mommy. Mommy stared at me. She stubbornly sat there with the spoon in front of my mouth and wouldn't go away. Hiding behind my cup didn't even work.

Finally I decided to humor her. I took a bite, swallowed the yummy pumpkin goodness, and then SPIT all those yucky green and yellow balls OUT! 

You'd think she would have gotten the message, but she just sat there and kept giving me more bites until the bowl was empty.

I begged....

I pleaded....

I rubbed pumpkin guts in my hair, eyes, and ears....

But she didn't give up until the bowl was empty.

What a MEAN, MEAN MOMMY!!!!

Well, at least I got a bath out of the deal. I mean, SERIOUSLY, what does it take for the third child to get a bath around here? I have to either poop up my back or rub food in my hair to get in the tub. So.not.fair.

 At least Brooklyn understands me. She'll take my side any day!

Mom thinks she won The Great Pea War because she sat there until the bowl was empty, but when I think of all the food I smashed into the tray, the stained clothes she'll have to scrub, and the peas & corn scattered across every tile of the kitchen floor, it's no doubt -- I WON hands down! Hey, an hour after dinner was over she was still in there sweeping up peas from the corners of the kitchen! 

I suppose I'll forgive Mommy... in a little while. Who can stay mad when bubbles exist in this world? 

But just in case she forgets who the boss is, I'll just make a few more messes when she finally gets the kitchen cleaned up. 

Seriously, this war was TOTALLY her fault! If she would've just fed me applesauce, none of this would've happened.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Let's keep this vent our little secret, k?

Yours truly,

The unjustly treated third child 

~ Selah Renee'

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